One Day, Babe

One Day, Babe

Do not give up on the dream you have, Momma (and yes, you deserve that title). For you are a mother in your soul, down to the very bones of your body. You are a mother to the animals you care for daily, that rely on you for food and water, who come to you for love and attention. You are a mother to the children who come into your life, be they nieces or nephews, or children of dear friends, for you nurture and teach these children, as if they were your own. You are a mother to this earth, as you dig in the soil and plant in the ground, watch as your seeds sprout and your flowers bloom.

Do not give up on that one day babe you long for in your life. Do not put your dream aside. Love yourself and love that you are strong and that you are healing. Love that one day, you are going to be the best of mothers, because you have waited so long to love and cherish a child of your own.

Do not blame yourself. Do not hate your body. Although you may not get along right now, and it may not feel like it most days, your body is a temple and deserves to be treated as such. So do just that. Nourish your body. Eat your greens, don’t skip on the avocado, drink plenty of water, get your sleep, go for walks and if you want that bowl of icecream at the end of the day, do the damn thing and eat it! Because you deserve it.

But Momma, what you should do, is feel. Let whatever is happening in that moment take its course. Feel it, cry about it, yell about it, scream at the top of your lungs if that’s what you feel compelled to do in the moment. But do not hide those feelings, not for one minute. You don’t have to always pretend like everything is ok. It’s ok, to not be ok. You don’t always have to be strong. You don’t always have to be brave. You are allowed days when the best you do is get out of bed, go to work and come back home again to start it all again the next day. Feel what you need to feel, and then keep on going.

What you should do is surround yourself with a village. There will be those who will never leave your side, there will be those who stand silently by because they don’t understand your struggle, and there will be those who flee because you’re bravery makes them insecure. Do not let this change you. Do not let this change your path. Stand strong, beside those who love and care for you, and know that together, you will make it through all this.

It’s not going to be easy, I’d be lying if I said it was. But you can do this. Even on those days when it feels like you can’t, please do not forget why you are going through this battle, do not forget how far you have come on your journey. Don’t look back now. Keep your eye on the prize. One day, that babe will be yours. One day, you will hold that sweet little bundle in your arms, and you will tell them all about how you fought for them beause you knew life wouldn’t be complete without them.

One day.

So hang in there, babe.

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Let’s Break the Stigma

Let’s Break the Stigma

A few months ago during Bell’s Lets Talk Day, I shared a situation in my life over social media, in an attempt to connect with others who may be in a similar position. The out reach I received blew me away, as did the number of women who could relate to me, who shared their stories with me, and who ignited a flame of hope inside of me. So this week, during National Infertility Awareness Week, I am sharing our story.

INFERTILITY.

This word has consumed my life for the better part of two years now. This word has been hidden deep inside of me, consuming me and my husband and our everyday life, without me even knowing it. And when I shared this, and when I reached out for the first time, all of a sudden this word seemed to lose its grip on me.

View More: http://brzphotography.pass.us/dan--hadleighTwo years ago, Dan and I were your typical newlywed couple. We had run away and shouted our love from the mountain tops, we both had a career and job, a lovely farm to call our own. It was time to write that next chapter in ours lives; children.

I went off of the birth control pill that I had been on for nearly ten years of my life. And within that first month, I knew something was off. I didn’t get that monthly visit from Aunt Flo. I pushed aside any kind of thoughts, chalked it up to the fact that my body needed to sort itself and its hormones out, and life continued on. After four months of still not having a period, I booked myself an appointment with a local doctor in town to figure out what was going on with my body. I was prescribed a hormone to induce menstruation, and began to take this every couple of months. I was holding out hope that eventually my body would catch up, and start working on its own.

After a year of this, I wanted to get serious about figuring out what was wrong with my body. I wanted answers. I was referred to a women’s clinic in Edmonton. I saw a doctor. We didn’t click. I left without the answers I was looking for, and yet another drug to take for my issues.

When this course of medication still didn’t get us the child I was now longing for, I asked to be referred to a new clinic in the heart of Edmonton specifically for reproductive and fertility issues.

So, in December, after a year and a half of seeing doctors, completing all the blood work, ultra sounds, contrast radiology and any other test you can imagine under the sun, I was finally diagnosed with P.C.O.S (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome). A condition resulting in hormone imbalance and metabolic issues, it affects 1 in every 10 women and is a common cause of infertility.

Finally, I had an answer.

I thought having an answer would solve all of my issues. I thought knowing why my body wasn’t doing what it was supposed to would make me feel better.

Oh, how wrong I was.

Now I had a name for it. P C O S. I had the reason why my body wouldn’t cooperate with me. But there wasn’t the simple answer I wanted. There wasn’t one set plan of action that would be guaranteed. There wasn’t one miracle drug to make it all go away. I knew I had this, and now I needed to know how to deal with it, how to cope through it and what I needed to do to help my body out.

The struggle has not been pretty.

You know that toy you buy off the shelf, or that electronic item you covet, but then it just doesn’t work right. So, naturally, you return it. You take your receit back to the store and you give them the item back because it doesn’t do what you want it to.

That’s my ovaries.

Except there is no receipt from God to be like, “Excuse me, Lord, these don’t work properly, may I exchange them for a set that do?”.

My defective female organs cause me grief. More than I would have thought possible or would like to admit most days. They make me feel broken. Like what kind of woman am I if I can’t even function like a woman is supposed to.

And these hormones, don’t even get me started on the hormones! I have never in my life had such up’s and downs, such highs and lows, all within an hours time. My husband will vouch for it, sometimes I am a complete monster. The struggle is real. Some nights I wake three or four times, drenched in sweat and hot as Hades. Night sweats; they’re a thing and they’re not fun.

Each month is like a roller coaster. You begin with this hope and determination. You see the hills before you, maybe that little corkscrew turn halfway through, and you face it head on. I take a hormone medication which allows my body to ovulate. I start to climb that first hill of the roller coaster ride, with hope in my heart, that I will ovulate this time. I can’t do basal body charts, they end up looking a lot like the Rocky Mountains because of the imbalance in my hormones. I have tried the ovulation tests at home, to no avail. So I wait, and I do blood work to see whether or not my body cooperated. First hill down. Then they throw in the corkscrew. Timed sex. Yes I said it. Did you know that there is a defined time when your eggs are released, travelling down the Fallopian tubes, waiting to meet that little sperm. It comes down to a time frame of about 24 to 48 hours. Do you know how much fun sex on schedule is? For the sake of sharing too much information, let’s just say it takes a strong couple and a little imagination to make the best of it! The second hill, is the largest, it’s that looming drop you have anticipated the whole ride. It’s called the two week wait. It’s the two weeks when, that little egg who has hopefully met it’s sperm, is travelling down the Fallopian tubes to be implanted into the uterus. It’s trying to figure out if you’re experiencing early signs of pregnancy or just early signs of PMS, because let’s be honest, they are way too similar. And for me, I endure the long and looming ride up that hill and I crest the top and for just one moment, there is hope, before the ground drops beneath me, my breath catches in my chest and I feel the whole world falling away. Hello Aunt Flo, we meet again.

Each month is a mix of joy, hope, anticipation and then heartbreak. It is the highest of highs followed by the lowest of lows.

But I am trying to work through it, the best that I can, in the healthiest way possible.

I will tell you this, I wouldn’t be on this journey if I did not know how much of a rock I have in my husband. My husband is my biggest supporter in life. He works hard every day to make all of our hopes and dreams come to life. When I can’t pull myself from bed some mornings, when the tears won’t stop pouring from eyes, when life overwhelms me, he is there, holding me, comforting me, being silent and strong when I need it. If this man was not my partner in this life, then I would have given up on this journey already.

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My Mom has also been there for me through my journey. She is my closest and best of friends. And while she may be half way across the country, she is always just a phone call away. She has listened on the other line as I cry and explain in anger how life just doesn’t seem fair. She is my voice of reason sometimes when I want to act irrationally. She has cried her own tears through the phone line as we talk and sometimes just sit in silence, feeling what we need to feel to get through this.

Having this support system, and the support of some of my nearest and dearest friends, gives me hope and gives me strength to know that I can get through this, and that my dreams can and will come true, one day.

20190416_183004Over the years I have collected little items here and there. A child’s farm book. A beautiful quilt kit. A stuffed pig. All these items I hold on dearly too when it all becomes too surreal. I keep them on the top shelf of my bookcase. They don’t stare me in the face on the days when it is all too much, but they are there for when I need hope and purpose to keep fighting. I have also started a little side knitting project that feels close to my heart and gives me purpose. I was gifted a pattern for the little newborn hats they give at hospitals. So in my spare time, I knit these little new born hats, put them in a box and one day will find a hospital to donate them to. The first one was hard, I finished it, and then immediately broke down into tears on the couch while my husband held me. This first little hat sits on my shelf of the bookcase.


Another step I took in my journey to healing, was seeking help.

I hadn’t noticed that ever so slowly, this gradual shift was taking place with me. I had no energy anymore. I had lost interest in a lot of things that used to bring me joy. Sewing projects sat out on my spare bedroom floor for months incomplete. Knitting projects stared at me from the shelf. I hadn’t sat down and written in weeks. All these little things that used to bring me joy, no longer sparked my soul. I was tired, ALL THE TIME. There was no reason, I went to bed early, had a good sleep and woke up at a reasonable time. But I woke feeling exhausted. And the crying. There was so much crying. A picture here, a sad song there, and I was beside myself with emotion, and the tears came.
Finally one day, after a spell of tears and feeling completely exhausted, I told my husband that I needed help. That I was not OK. And while I knew I had all his love and support, I needed something else.

So I started seeing a therapist. I see her once a week now, and I am healing. I am writing again. I am knitting again. I didn’t know at the time how much this burden was weighing me down, but I feel like slowly the weight is being lifted from my shoulders. We are working through ways of dealing with my emotions and imbalances in healthy ways. Through writing or journaling, through mindfulness meditations and through being true to myself and my needs.

It’s OK, to not be OK. But there is help out there. Please know, there is always help out there.

Our journey is far from over. Currently we are on our fifth round of hormone treatments.

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But I wanted to share our journey, I wanted to reach out and tell our story for others to hear, not for pity or apologies about what we are going through, but in the hopes that maybe our story will speak to someone who is also struggling. That maybe someone needed to see these words to know that they were not alone. Maybe someone needed to read our story to know that there is hope beyond the heartbreak. That maybe someone who is struggling will read this story and find the bravery to seek the help they need.

I hope for all of these things.

That Sweet Spring Air

That Sweet Spring Air

April has arrived, and with it, a sure sign it is Spring on the farm! The sun rises earlier, sets later and gives off more of it’s warmth as it shines down on us. The snow has all but disappeared in the yard, leaving behind the only trace it was ever even here, MUD! That’s right, the melting snow and the ground still frozen with perma-frost means that the top layer of soil has turned to that inevitable muddy mess. But it’s nothing an old pair of jeans and some rubber boots can’t work through!

March was a busy (and always exciting) month on the farm as Dan and I celebrated our two year wedding anniversary. It’s funny how time just flies on by when you’re having fun. I am so grateful for this amazing man in my life who helps me to make all the dreams come true.

March also brings with it some St. Patrick’s Day fun, and I don’t think anyone was more festive than the donkey boys, maybe not by choice. They are always such good sports for my antics and this celebration was no different. How cute are these two leprechauns?!

20190316_181919Spring means it’s time to clean up on the farm after a long, snowy Winter. Donkey, alpaca and pig hooves are all in need of a trim, the hay shed needs clearing out and organizing and the trailers in the yard are put back into their rightful places. It feels good to have everything back in order and looking neat once again in the yard, except if you count the muddy mess that is slowly drying up.

Little bouts of Spring showers have helped to clear away what was left of the snow. While I don’t know how much the animals appreciate these dreary days, it sure does make for some candid animal shots and pretty backdrops for photos.

When that sun does shine, everyone is sure to be out enjoying the rays. The pigs have taken to sun bathing out in the grass of their pig pen, wandering across the little stream that runs through their pen to be in the long grasses. I love seeing their little shapes wandering through the pen. The goats have began to use their goat playground, and even got an addition to their pen this weekend as we opened up the fenceline. They now have free range to an adjoining pen in the woods, complete with stream and wooden bridge.

The donkeys and alpaca are beginning to wander more in their field as well as the snow melts and little shoots of grass begin to pop up here and there. This will be the first summer of exploration for the alpacas out back and we are so looking forward to it. In the mornings they can be spotted over by the far gate of the field, not too far from the donkeys boys. I look forward to summertime night walks through the bush trails with the back field gang.

The chickens sure do feel Spring in the air, and egg production has exploded in the coop. We are getting on average 10 eggs a day from the ladies, and this number is expected to go up as we reach Summer. While the pen is a muddy mess we do limit the chickens to their run time, and keep them in the run attached to their coop for a couple of weeks in Spring. This allows the ground time to dry up and for the grass to get a head start for the Summer months. While the ladies aren’t too happy about it, they still have plenty of room for activities like sunbathing, dust baths and perching in the run, and soon enough the wait will be over.

We have had an amazing opportunity through the farm to join in an amazing program called LOOP. LOOP works with Save On Foods in the city of Edmonton and area to take outdated product from the shelf to the farm. Any items nearing or past expiry, any items damaged or not up to customer packing quality are bagged and boxed and made available for pickup for farmers in the program. Right now we are on a cover list, but have had the opportunity to have two pick ups in the last month. We get items such as produce, dairy, bakery goods, deli goods, even left overs from the florist department. It sure makes for some happy creatures at chore time! The best part of it all has been being able to share with our neighbours. We look forward to more pickups, and I am sure the animals do too!

After such a long, cold Winter we are also happy to report that both of our bee hives seemed to have survived the odds and are both doing well. During the warmth of the sun during the daytime the hives are busy with activity, little busy bees coming and going. While we have not had an opportunity to open up the hives yet for inspection, we are hopeful that these are all good signs. In the coming weeks as the day time temperatures rise we will complete our first hive inspections of the season and remove the insulation covers. We have made available a source of sugar water to give the bees any kind of boost they might need, but they are definitely returning to the hive with pollen. The pussywillows have been out in bloom for a couple of weeks, and this being the first food source for bees in our area, gives us reassurance that our bees should be on track for this Summer season. Bring on the honey!

My favourite part of Spring, is finally getting to get my hands back into some soil! There a few of our gardens vegetables that we like to pre-start for the season so they have a better chance of producing in our shortened season here in Alberta. We started first our tomatoes, cauliflower and cabbage. Once the seedling have sprouted and spent their time on our kitchen table, they are moved out to the man room of the garage to be transplanted and set in the window. Next, pumpkins and watermelon took their place in the kitchen, followed by squash, broccoli and brussel sprouts. So far everything is looking green and happy, and I am excited to be thinking about getting back into the garden this Summer.

Another fun little project we took on this Spring on the farm was trying out hand at hatching our own chicks. What is a farmhouse in Spring without some chicky babies in the laundry anyways? We got ourselves an incubator, collected the eggs we thought would be fertile and started our first hatch! Chicken eggs incubate for a period of 21 days. For the the first 18 days the eggs are kept at a constant temperature and humidity, as well as placed in an egg turner to automatically rotate the egg, mimicking what a mother hen would do. On day 18 the eggs go into “Lockdown”, where the egg turner is removed, and the lid is not opened on the incubator until the chicks have hatched. We started our first hatch with 18 eggs, knowing that not all would likely be fertile as we have one rooster and about 20 hens in the coop. We successfully hatched one chick, our first little chicken created right in our own laundry room! While we did have two other eggs which pipped, meaning the chick broke through the air sac of the egg, sadly the other chicks did not survive the full hatch. We ended up getting a couple day old chicks from someone down the road to keep our little baby chick company, and have put another batch of eggs into the incubator to try again. It has all been a learning experience for us.

Just because it’s Spring, doesn’t mean that knitting projects have stopped for this homestead maker! I am addicted to knit socks, and they make for the perfect project for those warmer days as they are lightweight and easy to take anywhere. Evenings spent out on the deck after work in the sunshine can almost always be sure to include a knit sock project. I am currently on my fifth pair, and have an endless supply of yarn to keep me going this season. I also started a little side project in between pairs of socks for when I just need that little break to switch things up. A friend from back home provided me with a pattern her grandma gave to her for the newborn hats they supply at the hospitals. This is a project so very near and dear to my heart right now, and in knitting these tiny little hats, my heart has found some comfort and purpose. I plan on filling a box with these little knit hats and finding a hospital in which to donate them too.

Perhaps the most exciting news this month I have saved for last, we welcomed a little furry face to our farm family!

Our little bundle of joy arrived last Friday to the farm and has brought so much joy, laughter and happiness to our lives. Our new little puppy, who goes by the name of Hank, has been the perfect little addition to our homestead. He is a Leonberger/St.Bernard cross and is looking like will turn out to be a big boy! He is slowly but surely winning over the affection of his two big sisters, who are already showing him the ropes of farm life. We’ve made introductions to the chickens, pigs and goats successfully. We are making sure we take our time introducing him properly to the donkeys as we definitely do not want any kind of accident. So far, they are getting to know each other through the fence line and the gate, and it has all been successful. Just yesterday Deuce stuck his head through the gate and was snout to snout with Hank, and to his surprise received a kiss on the nose.  I don’t think it will be long before the donkey’s are accepting Hank as a friend.

With Dan being on days off, it gives him the opportunity to be home and overseeing the daily goings on and introducing and teaching Hank the ropes. I think he is going to make the best chore buddy and all around great farm dog!

For now, I’m enjoying puppy life, and getting in all the cuddles I can while he’s little!

Stay tuned for more photo updates and watch as our little pupper grows here on the farm with us!

 

 

 

Wild & Witchy

Sharing a couple of my favourite diffuser blends lately as we head into this Spring season.

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Waiting on Spring, and Other Things

Waiting on Spring, and Other Things

Often the promise of Spring is enough to get one through even the most bitter of Winters. And let me tell you, this past month has been a test of this from Mother Nature, as she continues to dump snow on us, attempting to freeze us and despair us with the coldest of days we’ve had thus far. February was the winteriest of months we had all season, but I do believe there is an end in sight.

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This past week the temperatures dropped once again into the harsh negatives. Minus forty below to be exact. And while everyone on the farm has grown accustomed over the months, its hard to deal with once you’ve had a taste of warmth and sunshine. But we continue to trudge on, as we enter March, and hold on to hope that Spring has to be getting close to that corner, right?

The animals seem to have no indifference to the cold spells anymore, but on a warm sunny day everyone is out and about soaking it in while they can. We’ve just about figured out the perfect number of bales needed for Winter, as we start to see the corners of the hay shed and trailer where they’ve been stored all Winter. With the sunshine today, I’m feeling like it should be no time at all before everyone is out on green pastures. In reality, we still have the season of MUD to deal with when the weather starts to cooperate.

The beginning of March brought with it National Pig Day, which we celebrated by sharing some before and after pictures of the Three Little Pigs on our social media accounts. The first collage is the day we brought them home from the rescue, nearly three years ago now. The second collage is a collection from this past Summer and Winter. Looking at these photos makes my heart ache for those little pigs we first met, how scared and unsure they were, how scabby their skin and thin their hair was. Then I look at the boys now, at how far they’ve come and I am proud. I love those little pigs, and the love shines through in their little smiling pig snouts, their thick hair coats and their little adventurous eyes as they roam their little home in the woods, living their best pig life!

We were able to get out to check on the beehives on a warmer day. It’s hard to know what’s happening inside the hive when all you can do is look from the outside and listen. One of the two hives is definitely very bustling, as you can hear little wings buzzing inside to keep warm. The second hive has notable noise, but not as strong as the other hive. Bees can be see around the entrance, dragging out the dead, on a warm sunny day. All we can do is hope that the cold is done with, the warm weather will soon be here and that our little bees have enough food in the hive to make it until then!

February may have been the coldest month on the farm, but it was also a time for all things love! Valentine’s Day had me in the kitchen baking all the sweetest little heart sugar cookies I could. I always have so much fun with sugar cookies, and the best part, getting to use my “new to me” Pyrex bowls! And of course none of this would have been possible if not for the handful of laying hens that have not given up on me this Winter. Thank you ladies for continuing to provide me with farm fresh eggs!

All this cold weather isn’t a bad thing when you want to hide out inside and complete all the projects! My mom sent my a beautiful puzzle which I worked on over a particularly chilly weekend. The 500 piece, quilted picture took me two full days to complete, and let me tell you, puzzle pieces aren’t what they used to be! This one had pieces of any shape and size you could imagine. Today, I tore that one down and started onto the next one!

I’ve also been taking advantage of cold days stuck inside to finish up and work on some new knitting projects. I am currently working on the second pair of socks for my Mom. After having to frog my last one (that means I had to rip apart the entire sock due to one silly little mistake), I am back to where I left off and almost done the first one of the pair. I have yarn for a pair to knit for my brother’s girlfriend as well, then I want to start trying out some different patterns for my own. After a little weekend away in the city, and some retail therapy at a little local yarn store, I am set for a while on sock yarn! I love all the beautiful skeins available and it is always so hard to choose. I also may have made a pit stop at Michael’s for yarn for my newest little side project.

Because all the cutest little patterns come in crochet only, and I cannot for the life of me seem to figure that one out yet, I had a friend make me up the cutest little pattern I found for free through the We Are Knitters site. This little alpaca was too cute to pass up on, and she did the most amazing job!

Of course my other passion during these cold, cold days is reading, and being stuck inside has made it possible to put a good dent in my must read pile. We just had our third book club meeting at the end of the month of February, where we discussed The Hazel Wood. It was such a good read, with a unique writing style and an out of the box approach at fairy tales. The next book we are reading is American Marriage and, while this one is definitely going to be more down to earth, I am looking forward to diving in. A recent finish for me as well was the Tattooist of Auschwitz, which I finished in just two days because I couldn’t put it down. A heartbreaking true story from the Holocaust this one is a must read for everyone! Another book I have on the go is from one of my favourite authors right now, Ruth Ware. Her thriller style, murder mysteries hook me from the first chapter and always throw me for a loop before they finish. Currently reading The Death of Mrs. Westaway, and again, not disappointed!

With hopes for Spring’s arrival we have also began to start seeds for the garden this year. Getting a head start on some of the veggies makes sure we can enjoy them fully in our shorter growing season. So far we have started tomatoes, peppers, cauliflower and cabbage. Having little seedlings popping up on the kitchen table also makes these last few days of Winter a little more bearable, and gives us something to look forward to this Summer. In the next few weeks of March we will start more seeds; including onions, pumpkins and watermelon. I have to admit, it gives me Spring fever to think of gardens and playing in the dirt.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for following along with us here on the farm. We love sharing our stories and photos of our little wild farm life for all of our friends and families.

 

 

 

 

In the Dead of Winter

In the Dead of Winter

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February, the month that breaks the everlasting lengths of January days. The month that begins to promise an end in sight. But do not be fooled. February can also be the harshest of months. When the snow falls deep, and the thermometer drops to polar temperatures and the world stands still. It brings the kind of cold that makes your face hurt, that covers everything in sight with a frosty cover.

On the farm, February is the month that tests all that you do.

Going into this “Polar Vortex” as they call it (although lets be honest, I remember last winter when we had a whole week around the -40C mark and I just think, hey welcome to winter in Alberta!), the most important thing is to make sure all the animals have what they need to endure the cold.

20190130_155113Fresh, dry straw bedding was given out to everyone before the cold hit. Having dry bedding ensures that all the little toes (and hooves) on the farm have a barrier from the frozen ground and snow to keep them warm. It also provides a means of snuggling into and preserving body heat against the bitter cold. Everyone on the farm has either a house, coop or shelter to escape out of any wind and elements.

Another must : fresh water! Most people would tend to think that animals drink the most water in the hot summer, but having lots of fresh water available during the cold is important as animals drink more in the cold. That means hauling buckets of water from the house, out to the back field daily when the water in the feed shed freezes. But a girls got to do what a girls got to do for her critters.

So far, everybody is battling the cold like champions. The three little pigs spend their days snuggled into bed in the Pig Haus and are only seen when the gate chain rattles for dinner. We feed them their regular pellets during the winter, supplemented with a scoop or two of grain to warm the belly. I love when I open the gate and see their little snouts peeking out of the door, little snorts greeting me.

The “back field gang” as we’ve been calling them are also braving this cold spell well. The donkeys have decided the alpaca are good snuggle buddies, and early in the mornings everyone can be found sleeping in the shelter together. With their shaggy coats the donkeys do ok in the cold, with shelter to escape to, lots of hay available to munch on and a little scoop of grain here and there. The alpacas, Beetle and Bailey, also have a good winter coat to protect them from the elements. We feed the alpacas a mixture of pellets, calf manna and alfalfa pellets for a little boost on the colder days.

It is with great sadness we share that over the holiday season, we said goodbye to our other alpaca gentleman Hobbes. I truly believe these two were much older than what was let on when we adopted them and that unfortunately it was just their time. Hobbes suffered a stroke which left him with no function in half of his body. His fight was gone with the loss of his brother and so we said goodbye to him and let him be in peace with Calvin. These two will always hold a big piece of my heart and they will forever be remembered here on the farm.

Our little goaters are surviving the cold, often sleeping in the house within the shelter we built them or underneath of their feeder. They are always the first little greeters when you start chores, their little bleats echoing across the farm yard. Momma Sue still loves to give kisses, almost as much as she loves to munch on hair or coats strings. My big bully Otto is rammy with treats, but such a loving big boy with me, standing up on my chest when ever I have treats. Doc and Jasper have become so friendly too, looking for pets and cuddles, these two boys have really filled out over the last few months.

The chickens seem to be unwillingly tolerating this cold spell, some days not leaving the coop or huddling under neath in the built in run. They always have topped up feed and water, although trying to keep it from freezing is a constant task. We have suffered only a couple of frozen egg fatalities, making sure to check twice  daily for eggs to prevent this. Throughout the cold spell the ladies continue to lay at least a couple eggs a day to keep our stocks up.  Chanteclair, our big beautiful Meline man of the coop, has suffered a slight bought of frost bite on his comb and wattles. While it’s hard to treat when it’s still so cold, our go to for frostbite first aid is some Prep H for the swelling and Polysporin to keep away any infection. A petroleum based jelly can be used on combs and wattles preventatively for frostbite, but only if it isn’t present yet.

Earlier this Winter we said goodbye to Bitchy Pearl, our little white frizzle hen who was in the second batch of hens we ever had on the farm. She passed suddenly, but not from the cold. She will be missed this summer with her antics as we reach into nesting boxes and don’t have her attacking our hands.

Before the cold snap, we ventured out to peek at the bee hives. When the weather is this cold there is definitely no opening the hive, so the only indicator we have as to what is going on inside is the humming noise of bees and looking at the front entrances of the hives. There were little piles of dead bees around the entrance of each hive, which is normal because as bees die the other bees will push the dead out of the hive as house keeping. A small pile is a sign of healthy life cycle. We can only wait and hope that they are surviving this cold snap and have enough food storage supplies to get them through until Spring.

One of my Winter goals was to make bird feeders for the cold months. We had asked the butcher to save us the pig fat when our hogs went in this past Fall. Dan used some of it for making sausages and mixing in with our deer meat, but there was lots left in the freezer so I thought I should use some of it up making my own suet cakes for the birds. I melted down the pig fat (which was a long, and stinky process in my kitchen), mixed in and melted down peanut butter and then stirred in bird feed purchased from the local hardware store. I poured it into molds and cups and strung them up in our trees out back. They turned out great, and are a huge hit with the little chickadees and even woodpeckers!

My other Winter project has also been finally finishing up my first pair of socks! It has been a start and set aside kind of project over the last year, but I couldn’t be happier with how they turned out. And now, I’m hooked! I have since finished up two more pairs, a matching set for me and my Mom, and have yarn on the side for three more pairs. It’s definitely addicting once you get the hang of it, and if I’m sitting I’m knitting this Winter!

It wouldn’t be Winter without some snowy adventures in the wild, and snowshoeing is my favourite way to get around the trails on the farm. Dan recently cut us new trails in the back field bush where the donkeys and alpacas stay. Judging by the little hoofprints and piles of poop, the donkeys are getting as much use out of them as I am! The best part is our little convoys when I head out. With the dogs usually in the lead, the donkeys follow me and, not wanting to be left behind, the alpacas reluctantly take up the end of the train. It makes my heart so happy and I can’t wait until this Summer for all our forest adventures.

We even had an afternoon fire out in the woods before this cold spell hit. Dan cut down and stripped bark to make us a little fire on one of our trails. We sat and enjoyed nature (ok and maybe a marshmallow or two) with the ladies close by keeping watch. These random afternoon adventures are some of my favourites!

Another of our Winter adventures led us to the mountains where we visited Abraham Lake. This has been on my Winter bucket list so I was so excited to make it there this year. This man made lake, from excavation, has naturally occurring methane which in the cold of Winter causes bubbles to become trapped and frozen in the ice. It is a beautiful sight! We stopped for a little picnic lunch, went out on the ice to explore and take pictures, and then took a little hike up the side of a mountain slope. The view was literally breathtaking, as I got to the top of our hike and realized maybe I had more of an issue with heights than I had thought. The view was totally worth it! We even had the chance to get up close to a group of mountain goats. There is just something about the mountains that clear the mind and charge the soul.

Since I haven’t written since we returned from Christmas, I’ll drop some of our photos from home here. We had such a great visit with family, and it was so special to spend Christmas amongst loved ones. From day trip adventures with my brother and his girlfriend, to visiting old towns and shopping with Mom and Dad, not a moment was wasted!

February may just be getting to the mid point, but Winter has got to be getting closer to the end point. If we can survive these next few days of cold than I think we can all make it until Spring. With everyone bunked down today with a -30C temp outside, I’ll be found inside by the wood fire knitting away. Stay warm everyone!

 

 

Wild & Witchy

An update for my soul sisters, my fellow moon children and old souls alike. 

The end of January brought with it a magical time if you’re into or follow the phases of the moon. The January full moon, or Wolf Moon as it’s called, also happened to fall this year the same time as the Lunar Eclipse. With alarms set and warm clothes on, I spent a good part of the night outside watching the phases of the moon and capturing what I could on camera. It was a sight to see as the full eclipse sent the moon into a glow of red in the sky.

The winter blahs on these cold days have me playing around more with some diffuser blends and some of my favourites for this month are listed below. Whether you need cold relief or just some emotional support, these two should have you covered!

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AProcessed with VSCO with a9 presetlso I discovered the most healing bath time routine for myself, in a hopes to tame some of my crazy hormones. 1 cup Epsom salts, 1 cup baking soda, 5 drops Geranium EO, 5 drops, Lavender EO, 5 drops Clary Sage EO and 3 drops Patchouli EO. Light some candles, sink in and enjoy!

I’ve been personalizing my space in the bedroom, little by little, and am finally feeling like it’s mine. I received the most beautiful macrame wall hanging all the way from Australia via an Instagram giveaway. It also came with crystals ( because you never really can have enough) and a book about said crystals. While home in Ontario over the holidays, I tracked down my favourite IG stained glass artist, and purchased two pieces I had had my eyes on. A moon phase hanging for my room and a honeycomb piece to hang in my kitchen window. When I told Dan it felt complete and was searching for a word to describe it he blurted out “Witchy”. He gets me!

This Winter I’ve also been working at up-ing my house plant collection. Don’t tell my husband, he hasn’t noticed them yet, but in addition to the spider plant I already have, I have added one more hanging plant and a small potted plant. I would love to get a big potted plant for our bedroom, but think I will have to wait until I can get to a greenhouse for that! Having plants in the house is not only good for cleaning the air, it makes the environment more welcoming.

Making sure to get in my “ME” time is important for the soul, especially during these long Winter months. I started a planner for 2019, have been dabbling with journaling and make sure to start my weekends with a hot coffee and vinyl. Because let’s be real, pictures of coffee and toes never gets old!

Stay wild, Witches!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baby, It’s Cold on the Farm

Baby, It’s Cold on the Farm

Tis the season for all things Christmas as the countdown to the holidays begins to dwindle. The Christmas lights are hung on the house in all their glory, our little mini tree is up and decorated, and our stockings are hung by the fire. The winter decor is out, the fire is going, and our little farmhouse is quite cozy on a chilly Monday morning. 

This year we will be heading home for the holidays, and flying to Ontario to spend our first Christmas with my family in four whole years! To say I am excited would be an understatement! So much has changed in four years back home, and it’s time for this girl to get back in the loop. I can’t wait to spend the holidays season surrounded by my family and sharing it with my husband.

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We still wanted to be in the holiday spirit on the farm, so we found a mini tree to put up and decorate (much to Dan’s delight). It looks cute tucked below our window, beside our hanging stockings. There have even been a few presents to grace the bottom as we hosted Christmas dinner with Dan’s family a little early, and of course all of our “Friendsmas” dinners.

Each year we also hang Christmas wreaths left behind by the previous owner on our gates at the end of the drive, along our garden fences and on the feed shed. Because even the critters deserve a little Christmas cheer!

We started the holiday season in sadness on the farm. This past Summer we welcomed two alpaca gentlemen to the farm. I knew they were older, but just not exactly how old our two guys were. When Winter came their age definitely began to show, and despite doing all we could for the both of them in regards to shelter, warmth and extra feed, it was time. We sadly said goodbye to Calvin, who passed suddenly on a Saturday morning. It was the first really big loss on the farm, and it was felt by everyone. We took several days to grieve and come to terms with him being gone. My heart was breaking for his brother Hobbes, who was sad and depressed, and showing it. 

I reached out to a lady I had met in the Summer, who we had taken the boys fleece to to have made into yarn. Her and her husband own an alpaca ranch where they raise alapacas for fibre, and are only an hours drive away. She said she would have a replacement for us for Calvin and a new friend for Hobbes to help him cope. So we loaded up the livestock trailer, made the drive over, and returned home with not one, but two new friends for our Hobbesy. Beetle and Bailey are settling in well and our trio of alpaca are always together, whether it be standing around the feeding, exploring the trails through the bush, or snuggling in together at night. My heart is happy they are bonding with Hobbes and he has two new friends to help heal his heart. You’ll also see Hobbes is sporting his new uptown winter jacket. This will help to fight against the wind and elements a little better for him this Winter as his fleece hasn’t grown back quite the same since the previous owners trimmed him. 

The donkey boys who share the back field with the alpacas are also adjusting to the changes and making new friends with our two new additions. The boys are  also sporting their winter fluff and are just too adorable for two bad donkey boys. Dan created a few new trails through the bush for us, and they are all within the fenceline of the back pasture. We have been going for afternoon walks in the Winter to get out and get some fresh air and exercise, and the donkey boys love to follow along through the woods. Judging by the trails and footprints, they are frequenting the paths out back in the bush. 

The three little pigs like to hide out from the snow and cold, and spend most of the Winter days inside the Pig Haus snoozing away. They are the first ones at the gate when it is breakfast time though! I love all the sounds of the barnyard coming alive during morning chores. These three boys have come so far since they moved into the farm and I swear that Oscar is smiling for most of his photos. 

Mama Sue decided this year she was going to try out for Santa’s team, and who am I to tell here she’s not a reindeer? I think she’s the cutest little goat with antlers you ever did see! The four little goats are doing well this Winter. They are burning through hay like nobody’s business. They are always good for a smile and can be heard pretty much from any where in the yard. 

Our ladies in the coop have all but stopped laying this Winter. We are lucky to get an egg a day and have been on the verge of buying a carton from the grocery store on several occasions. We have three new ladies who should start laying any time, and we are holding out for those eggs. We saved three hens and one rooster from out batch of butcher chickens this past fall. Our rooster, who Dan has name Chanteclair from one of his favourite childhood movies Rock-a-Doodle, has finally started to crow and has completed our menagerie of barnyard sounds. 

November was a busy and rewarding month for us on the farm. Being open season for rifle and hunting, we spent the majority of our free time sitting in a tree stand out back. Mother Nature is so amazing and I feel so blessed to be able to have the land we do and the opportunity to watch nature unfold right in front of our eyes. Have you ever heard the wings of a bird cutting through the air? Have you ever been nose to nose with a yearling doe? Have you heard snow flakes falling on branches, crashing down around you? Sitting in nature is my favourite part of hunting season. Watching as a doe and her triplet fawns walk down the cutline straight towards you, stop to graze and frolic. Hearing the world come alive in the morning light, the woods erupting with the chatter of squirrels and hustle of little birds. 

Dan and I were both lucky enough to fill our white tail tags this year, and our freezers are full for another season. I am so happy Dan was able to spend the time out in the bush with me. Usually he is busy at work providing for us, or spending his time showing me the ways of hunting, so it was really special this year we could both take down our bucks together.  I also bought my first, very own gun this season. A little 0.22 for predator control on the farm and chicken hunting. And wouldn’t you know it, first day out I took down my first chicken with it! We definitely are not going hungry on the farm here any time soon!

With the cold and snow, it has made for the perfect evenings to curl up beside the woodstove and get all my projects completed! From knit dishcloths for our Christmas baskets, to my first attempt at home made soaps and finishing up some quilting, I have been keeping busy crafting this Winter. Looking forward to starting some projects for myself in the New Year, including a quilted lap blanket and finally getting my second sock knit for a pair!

I also found time for a little holiday baking, and of course some reading! I joined an online book club and have been loving the book choice and discussion. Looking forward to next months meeting already! I may have a whole shelf of new books waiting for me after the Christmas season. We also bottled our latest wine just in time for the holidays, a mid-winter mulled wine! Looking forward to enjoying that one over the holidays with family and friends!

We wish all of you the merriest of Christmases, may your time be spent with those you love and cherish. Happy New year from the funny farm. We will be seeing you in 2019!!

 

Wild & Witchy 

For those interested, below are a couple of my favourite diffuser blends for those cold winter days or holiday festivities! 

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Witch, Please

Witch, Please

It’s Halloween, Witches!

 

Tis the season for ghastly ghouls, spookish spells and all kinds of treats and fun. While we do not usually get many trick or treaters out to visit us on the farm, we still like to have a little fun ourselves. Our pumpkins were purchased this year because the little itty bitties we were able to grow in our pumpkin patch were by no means big enough to carve. Our goal continues into next year to grow carving pumpkins, and we are not giving up! For this year, the pumpkins are carved, the candles are lit, and the front of the house is looking a little spooky! 

We also had some fun and dressed up for a costume Halloween party at a friend’s this past weekend. Can you guess what Dan is? (HINT: its from a pop commercial from Superbowl a couple years ago!). 

The best part of pumpkin carving, all the yummy treats for the pigs, chickens and goats! We save all the insides of the pumpkins, and any pieces that are carved out, and feed them to the animals. Pumpkin works as a great natural way to deworm and is also a really good thing to have on hand for farm animals that are a little backed up. Everyone in the farm yard is happily enjoying a pumpkin breakfast today!

The ladies of the coop are slowly getting over the fall moult and growing back their feathers just in time for a shift in seasons. We make sure to feed lots of black oil sunflower seeds during a moult to provide extra protein for feather development. During this time laying seems to all but come to a halt, only getting maybe an egg a day from the hardy girls. I finally today have one dozen eggs saved up, since about last week. It will be nice to have the eggs back as I have been refusing to buy from the store and we have been going without eggs for breaky for some time now.

Mother Nature decided to bless us with our “Indian Summer” these past couple of weeks so we have taken full advantage here on the farm. Everyone is ready for winter, with shelters prepped, coops wrapped and insulated, waterers plugged in and hay and straw piled and stored under cover.

The sunny warm days made for the perfect weather for a big coop clean before the snow sets in for good. In the winter we bed down the chickens a little different than we would in the warm summer months. We start with a layer of peat moss on the bottom. This layer acts to soak up any moisture in the coop and act as an insulation to hold in heat. Next layer is shavings sprinkled on the coop floor and in the nesting boxes. Shavings are also good for soaking up moisture in the coop. Humidity control in the coop over winter is one of the most important parts of a healthy flock. Unwanted humidity in the coop causes frostbite on those coldest nights, breathing issues and issues with birds keeping themselves warm. Lastly we bed down with a layer of straw on the floor and in the nesting boxes. This helps to insulate and keep the ladies warm enough on their own in the coop that they don’t require a heat lamp to supplement them. We also use a poop hammock, a piece of tarp that hangs under the roosts the chickens sleep on, to catch any droppings. Regularly emptying the poop hammock prevents any kind of condensation or humidity left from poop in the coop. It also helps to keep the coop cleaner. We top up and add bedding as needed until Spring when a full clean is possible once again.

The three little pigs have been loving this last little bit of nice weather as well, taking full advantage of their pen expansion and exploring and rooting up all kinds of goodies. My new favourite morning routine includes sneaking into the pen, food ready and calling the boys for breakfast. You can hear the three of them come running from where they are exploring, snorting and grunting on the way. I have never seen these three run so fast; they sure are comical! A happy pig snout is one that is covered in dirt. As the seasons change on the farm, one of the first tell tale signs of cold weather on the way is when the pigs starts to grow their winter coats and start getting fuzzy.

The donkey boys are ready for winter, as they grow in their shaggy coats and bangs. I love how cute they get with a little extra fluff. Donned with new halters, we have been teaching these two boys some manners. To show them who’s really in charge, we have started a couple evenings a week tying the boys up to a wood post along the fenceline. We let them stand there until they can stand with no fighting or pulling. This will help us going forward when we need to trim feet or give any kind of shots, etc. The boys hooves are trimmed up, dewormer given and we are ready for the winter season ahead.

The alpacas are a little slower, but they too are growing in their coats for the winter months. While we have the donkey boys preoccupied with fence posts, the alpacas are getting a scoop each of crumble leading into winter. In a hopes to get them fattened up a little before the cold sets in, we will continue to offer them crumble along with their supplemented hay and free choice water. They sure are coming along, and wander right up to the gate when we come down for chores. They are such unique creatures, and they make my heart so happy.

Even the little goats are filling out their winter wear getting ready for the cold. We have built a shelter within a shelter to house the goats on the coldest nights. This little house inside with three walls and a roof stuffed full of straw bedding will work great to bundle in together when its chilly, out of the wind and elements. It also gives us room to keep their hay feeder under the shelter roof so we are not wasting hay. These four eat a lot of hay! Over the winter we will supplement a little here and there with grain and of course free choice water.  I’ve been loving getting to know them each and their personalities. They’re little noises fill up the farm yard doing chores and make my heart burst with joy. Did I mention Momma Sue loves to give kisses?!

October was a month for making all things apple on the farm. While our orchard trees are growing and will one day fill up their section of the yard, this year I purchased apples from a local farmer. From apple cider, apple sauces, apple butters and even apple pies, most days the aroma of apples was wafting from this farmhouse kitchen. Some of these goodies will be added into the Christmas baskets of preserves we gift our friends and families with over the holidays.

Side note: there are a ton of yummy cocktails you can make from apple cider and apple butter! Who knew that apple cider maragaritas were a thing?! You’re welcome!

Crafting for Christmas is also in full swing on the farm in the fall. One of the items in our gifted handmade baskets is hand knit dishcloth sets. I like to get a head start and already have thirteen made for this up coming season. Along with knitting, the colder less desirable days stuck inside make for the best quilting days. I am in the middle of a blanket project, my first time quilting in triangles. I am having so much fun getting to know my machine a little more and experimenting more and more with some simple smaller baby quilts.

On the random days we get off together, Dan and I have been taking full advantage of our time to get our wood pile ready for winter. Currently we have cut and stacked about four cords of wood. We’d like to get at least two more to be comfortable for the length of winter. I love spending an afternoon out in the bush with my love. Dan bucks saw and cuts the wood with his chainsaw, while I stack the pieces in the back of the truck and use the wood splitter to turn those big pieces into more reasonable wood fire sized logs. Once and awhile the girls slip out the back pasture gate and meet us in the woods. Exploring around and sleeping on trails while we work out back. Then we return to the house and stack the cut wood out beside the side entrance for easy access. While I love nothing more than the heat from a wood fire, I do not love the spiders that come with it, and finding them hidden throughout my house. You win some you lose some I suppose when it comes to firewood.

The end of October brings a close to all the beautiful fall colours, the smells and tastes of autumn. But it also means a new season is upon us….. OPEN SEASON! This week November starts and with that, hunting season will open. I have my blind all set up out back, and we have been keeping an eye on our trail cameras set up out back as well. There are a few handsome gentlemen making there way around our land this year. I can’t wait to get out back and start sitting and waiting. My favourite part of hunting is being hidden out back and watching the world around me unfold. The sights and sounds you hear while sitting in a hunting blind are the things you miss out on in the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

So as we reflect on the fall season, and wave goodbye to autumn and all her glory, we look forward to the season ahead of us here on the farm. We are ready for the winter months, for the chilling cold and snow. We look forward to a slower season, a season for friends and family, for crafting and finishing projects.

 

 

For those interested in a little something Wild & Witchy, below I have shared some of my favourite fall diffuser blends for essential oils! My journey with essential oils started just over a year ago, and what a community I have joined and found support in through oils. I hope you enjoy these blends as much as I do, and stay tuned next time for those winter fragrances!

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